PODCAST: On the Marie Curie Couch with Kyo Maclear
In the latest episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, writer Kyo Maclear sits down with bereavement expert Jason Davidson.
This month, Jason is joined by writer Kyo Maclear. Kyo's work to date includes essays, novels and children's books, as well as a graphic novel. She also lectures in creative writing and holds a doctorate in Environmental Humanities. Kyo's memoir, Unearthing: A Story of Tangled Love and Family Secrets , is out in March. In this episode of the podcast, she talks to Jason about the death of her dad, Michael, and the importance of talking openly about dying.
Content note: discussion of death and grief with reference to themes/topics that might be triggering or upsetting.
Grief is not static
"Minute by minute it changes. It really is an extremely varied weather system, I find, with grief. That one moment you'll want to talk about it and the next you just want somebody to sit with you and be in your presence and maybe doing something completely distracting. I think that partly it's the fickleness of grief, that it's not static. I think that's part of what makes it difficult. I grew up as an only child in a culture where I was encouraged to be very self-reliant. So I think I was also pre-disposed to be alone with my grief."
Children have questions
"What I've realised, from remembering my own childhood, is that we underestimate children if we think that they're not able to speak about death. They will be thinking about it whether we want to have those conversations or not, and generally, those people who are afraid or feel that we need to protect children are really trying to protect themselves. Children are already having these conversations with each other or they're sneaking into libraries and reading books that might be forbidden, as I did. They have compelling questions about the world."
There are ways of widening your bandwidth, to be reminded that life goes on and that everything will be interrupted... There'll be positive interruptions and there'll be painful interruptions in life, but we'll be constantly interrupted."
Listen now
Tap the link near the top of this page to listen to Kyo's chat with Jason. Alternatively, listen to or download it via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd prefer, you can read a full transcript of the episode . Be sure to like and subscribe so you know when we've uploaded a new episode – there are more conversations coming soon.
If you need support with bereavement or grief, call the Marie Curie Support Line on 0800 090 2309 or visit mariecurie.org.uk/support
