Five things EastEnders tells us about living with a terminal illness

1. Seeking normality

Lola (Danielle Harold) was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour October last year. Since then, she'd tried to carry on life as normal, seeking a sense of normality by continuing to work her job at the hair salon – right up until this May, when her condition worsened.

For many of us, work is a big part of our lives. This was no different for Lola. Trying to retain a sense of normality is important for many people with terminal illnesses.

That was also the case for Charlotte, who died in a Marie Curie hospice. "The day after her chemotherapy, she went to work," says Charlotte's partner, Ian. "Even after they told her she didn't have long left... she was planning to go into work. She just wanted to do one more shift."

2. Talking to children

Following her diagnosis, Lola kept the extent of her illness from her 10-year-old daughter, Lexi, before ultimately deciding to speak with her.

"Sometimes, the doctors can't fix everything," she said. "This tumour in mummy's head, it's not going away." When Lexi asked whether she'd be sick forever, Lola told her: "In a way, yeah. But it turns out that my forever isn't going to be as long as we thought."

Talking with children about death can be one of the hardest parts of living with a terminal illness. Finding the right words and the right time isn't easy. But talking honestly and openly with children about illness can help them understand what's going on. How and when you do this is up to you. Everyone's circumstances are different, so there's no right or wrong way to start talking.

3. Denial and different emotions

It's hard to predict how people will feel when they're told they or someone close to them has a terminal illness.

Lola's cousin Ben, for example, seemed to be experiencing denial. When told Lola only had weeks to live, he appeared unable to accept her prognosis, seeking new treatment plans and accusing others of accepting the prognosis too easily.

While Ben seemed to be in the denial stage of grief and others in the acceptance stage, there are no set stages we all go through and no fixed timeline. Grief is unique to everyone. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

4. Choosing where to die

Where we choose to die is an important decision. For Lola, she decided to return home after being told her palliative chemotherapy treatment hadn't worked.

For some, dying at home might not be possible. Or they might choose to die elsewhere, like in a hospice or somewhere else that's important to them.

But like Lola, others choose to die at home, where they can be supported family and friends, and receive nursing and medical support.

This can help make people's last days as comfortable as possible. Being cared for by nurses, for example, "means that patients can die at home peacefully," says Marie Curie Nurse Danielle Cobb. For many, "that's so important."

5. Support comes in all shapes and sizes

Many people look to family for support. But this isn't the case for everyone. Friends, nursing professionals or members of communities that are important to them – such as hobbies and clubs, or spiritual and religious groups – can also provide help and comfort.

In Lola's case, her estranged Mum, Patsy, returned to try and forge a connection with her daughter. But it's other members of Lola's family and her friends – as well as people in the community, like Reverend Mills who provides a religious outlook – that give support and comfort to Lola once she returns home.

The 'right' support comes in many different forms, from nurses and counsellors to friends and communities.

The way we react to terminal illness is different for each of us. There's no right or wrong way to feel or no one way that you're meant to act. However you feel, Marie Curie is here to help and support you. Call our Support Line on 0800 090 2309.