“We could go to bed knowing Mummy was in safe hands”

Back in early 2020, my mum noticed that she had a bit of a crooked neck. She wasn't particularly alarmed and thought it was from sleeping on it badly when she would fall asleep on the sofa with our whippet.

A few months later, she had it looked at and was told it was lymph cancer. The doctors said it was completely fine and curable, until they discovered she also had throat cancer.

Treatment was a really bad time

When Mummy started radiotherapy, it made her so ill. She was on pain medication that made her feel sick and she couldn't eat because her mouth was so sore. It was a really bad time.

When I took her to the last radiotherapy session, the doctors sat her down and told her nothing had changed and the lump was the same size as before. Surgery wasn't an option because it was in such a vulnerable place on her neck. And although she could try chemotherapy, she was so weak by that point that they didn't feel that was the best option for her.

Marie Curie was there for us

After those six weeks of treatment, Mummy just wanted to be at home. It was just me and my sisters at home looking after her and it became so difficult to provide that round-the-clock care she needed.

Marie Curie was there for us. The nurses and healthcare assistants that came at night really made a difference. We could go to bed with the knowledge that Mummy was being looked after and was in safe hands.

Of course, they were there to look after Mummy throughout that whole process, but they were also very caring towards us, too. They obviously understood it's not only the person with the terminal illness that's affected, it's the whole family. They would always check in on us and make sure we were okay. It felt very personal, not like it was a job to them, but that they really cared.

Everyone was so lovely. My mummy was particularly fond of Millie – she absolutely adored her. There was something about Millie that really suited our family. Millie would tell us that when she got home from her shift, her husband would be there waiting with a lovely cup of tea. She shared little things like that about her life which made her so personable. We felt like we really got to know her.

Towards the end, Marie Curie Nurses were coming in more frequently, until it was every night. During Mummy's time at home, she had deteriorated so much that we realised there was only so much we could do for her.

We had a hospital bed set up in the living room so Mummy could be at home, but it was suggested that she should go into the Thorpe Hall hospice in Peterborough. It was actually on her last day that she went to the hospice and 24 hours later she passed away. It was sad because she had wanted to die at home, but she was so unwell and it wasn't nice for her. The hospice was able to make her comfortable.

Life after caring for Mummy

Mummy's funeral was on 1 June and we spent about a week back at her home, just sorting things out. There's so much to do after someone dies, so much paperwork.

It was a very weird time. You spend all the time caring for your loved one and looking after them, and then when it's over and you feel very lost. We all struggled for a while following Mummy's passing before we eventually got back into our routines.

You put your life on pause – not that Mummy was a burden or anything like that, but because it's what you need to do to cope with caring for a loved one with a terminal illness and we were all happy to look after her. After her passing, we all realised we had to do what we needed to do for ourselves.

In time, I felt like I wanted to do something to commemorate Mummy and decided to sign up for the London Marathon. It was really good to have something to focus on, while also knowing that the money I raise will go towards helping another family like ours who really struggled and needed that support from Marie Curie.

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