“The dawn birds were singing as my sister died – it was so peaceful”
My sister Georgina died in February 2017, just a few months after her 50th birthday. We felt blessed that she was at the Marie Curie Hospice, Hampstead in her final few weeks. It was such a special time.
Georgina and I were very different, and we loved each other's differences. She could initially come across as introverted and shy, but she was just incredibly private. Very caring and gentle.
We lived together in London for about five years, so we were very close. I suppose I was the annoying little brother. Before she got really ill, I'd always go around to her office canteen, and she'd treat me to a cooked breakfast. I feel very blessed to have had a sister like that.
When she started to get ill, her response was to pull away
Georgina's diagnosis was a shock. She'd had breast cancer and had gotten the all-clear in April 2016. Then by July, she had a brain scan, and it turned out she had brain cancer.
A lot of the connection we had got lost that November. She was just exhausted from all the treatment and everything she'd been through. Her way of managing was to step away. When she was at home, she didn't want lots of visitors.
We joke a bit that the advantage of Marie Curie was that we could go and visit her because she didn't have a choice in it. Knowing her nature, she didn't want to trouble us, and there was something about being in the Marie Curie Hospice that we felt we weren't troubling anyone by visiting.
Everyone was very friendly and warm, which just made a difference
Georgina had outstanding care at the hospice. She was probably there for a month. The staff were fantastic in making the hospice a lovely space for the family and friends to visit.
By the time Georgina was in the hospice, she wasn't communicating much, but it was lovely to visit her in a very calm and tranquil environment. We met some of the other families too. There was a family in the next room with a tremendous amount of singing and dancing. So it seemed like a good vibe.
The sun was coming up and the dawn birds were singing when my sister Georgina died. You couldn't ask for more. It was a special time.
We lost our father a couple of years before that. He was in a care home for the last year of his life and it made me realise, from a relative's point of view, how important the care environment is.
We had some funny moments
Georgina wasn't really speaking towards the end, but there was one instance where we were there as a family, and the music therapist came in. I don't think she was too keen on music therapy, and the music therapist was trying to sort of gee her up.
Georgina just shut her eyes and pretended to go to sleep, and then as soon as she heard the door shut and the music therapist had gone, she opened them again. I loved that. Her spirit was still there, and as positive as the music therapist was, she wasn't for everyone.
Her passing was so peaceful
For me, that's how Marie Curie really supported us. I remember it vividly, but not necessarily as a really sad time.
We knew it was imminent. My mum was staying nearby and I'm half an hour away. We got a phone call about 4am to say that things weren't looking promising. My mum, aunt, myself, and my sister's husband Paul all arrived at about 5am. Around 6am, she died.
We were overlooking the garden. The sun was coming up and the dawn birds were singing while we were absorbing and processing what had just happened. It was very peaceful. I think a lot about that. You couldn't ask for more. It was a special time. Georgina was able to not leave anything unsaid.
Georgina came across as quite gentle and quiet, but was a real lioness inside
With some of the more challenging things in her life, Georgina went to the family. So, we got a perspective. But during her funeral, her real courage in standing up for other people came out.
Georgina was a senior editor at Random House. What's lovely is that her memory lives on when you pick up a Karen Slaughter book or other female writers. A lot of authors around the time she was ill and after she died dedicated their books to her.
When I run, Georgina's in my head. Not many things get me emotional, but one of them is my sister.
I've learnt a lot from her even since she died. I didn't always understand it, but she was incredibly good at boundaries in terms of what was good for her or not for her.
Nature played a big part in our family growing up, and my sister was very connected to nature. So whenever I'm in nature, I feel her. I'm very near Epping Forest, and there's a birch tree in a glade, and I often sit under that and feel her presence.
Running helps me remember her
I'm running the Royal Parks Half Marathon for Marie Curie. It's going to be a challenge because I'm getting older. When I run, Georgina's in my head. Not many things get me emotional, but one of them is my sister.
I've run for Marie Curie before. As you're running, you're surrounded by people supporting so many different causes, and you get a real sense of the pain that so many people go through.
You get a feeling that everyone's been through a similar thing. That helps me as there are just constant reminders of Georgina.
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