“Having hospice care meant we could just be daughters to Mum again”

Jacqui, pictured with daughter, Kelly.

“We couldn’t have asked for better care”

But when we arrived at the Marie Curie Hospice, Bradford, we were stunned. Straight away we felt all the hospice staff – doctors, nurses, cooks, cleaners, everyone – were there for all of us. They weren’t only caring for Mum. The place is absolutely amazing. We couldn’t have asked for better care.

I remember one particular night, Mum felt a bit hungry. She hadn’t been eating much before going into the hospice because she’d been feeling very sick; but the nurses had got her pain under control. When she told us that she really fancied a battered potato scallop, we tried everywhere – but nowhere was open.

The next day, a plate of perfect potato scallops arrived. The hospice chef had found out and made them, just for Mum. We felt so emotional knowing they’d gone to that effort.

“We realised Mum’s care needs were more than we could manage ourselves”

Mum was diabetic, and she also had a heart attack in March 2023, which left her with chest pain. Her needs were complex. We had been caring for her constantly for three years. We’d laid by her bedside feeding her.

We’d been so worried all that would be taken from us when she went into the hospice. That we wouldn’t be able to be with her. But we also realised her care and medication needs had moved beyond what we could manage ourselves at home. She was in a lot of pain and distress. We were scared and so was Mum.

We had previously taken her to hospital when her pain was really bad. She had finally got to an assessment ward after six hours in A&E. We took it in turns to stay with her, on a hard plastic chair, to give her a little bit of comfort. We were distraught when we had to leave her in there. She was crying in pain. The nurses were run off their feet, it’s not their fault; but Mum didn't get the care and pain relief she needed.

“The hospice gave us a room so we could stay over with Mum”

The hospice is nothing like hospital. It’s on another level. When Mum went in, we were so anxious. She’d had a really bad weekend and we’d been up all night. We told the nurses that we didn’t want to leave her; that we wanted to be by her side the whole time.

They gave us a room so we could stay over. And there was a day bed in Mum’s room as well, so we could sleep there too. The nurses reassured us that we could stay, but also that we could go home if we or Mum needed a break. They would ring us, or we could ring them anytime. It was so calming to know that support was there.

“We’ll never forget what the hospice staff did for us”

They really cared for Mum. They never just left her, as had happened in the hospital. She did have bad pain for the first 24 hours, because the medication hadn’t been working, but they got her stabilised.

We felt like we could be daughters to Mum again. It was hard to let go of the caring responsibilities in the first few days, but it became such a comfort to see just how much the hospice staff knew what they were doing. It took that pressure off us as a family, and it had a big impact on Mum too. She didn’t want us feeling anxious and scared.

She was comfortable and content, and that mattered more than anything to us. Mum thought the staff were fabulous. We’ll never forget what they did for us all.

Everyone deserves to be cared for at the end of life, but sadly one in four people won’t get this care.

You can help every Jacqui, every Kelly and Emma, everyone, get the end of life care and support they need. Donate to the Great Daffodil Appeal today.

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