If you’re worried that you are at risk of harm or abuse

Everyone has the right to live in safety, free from abuse or neglect. If you're worried that you or someone else is in danger, or is not being cared for properly, there are people you can talk to, and organisations which can help.

If you're a health or social care professional, read our information for professionals about safeguarding.

How do I know if I'm being abused?

When you're living with a terminal illness, you may need help from other people for some or all of your care.

This can put you more at risk of abuse or neglect.

There are different types of abuse. Sometimes you might not know you're being abused.

Abuse can include:

• hitting, slapping or restraining you
• sexual abuse – this includes touching your body or trying to have sex with you when you have not consented (agreed) to it
• threatening, bullying, or trying to control you
• shouting at you, criticising you, or saying things which make you feel bad about yourself
• fraud, theft, or trying to control your money without your permission
• treating you differently because of things like your religion, race or sexuality
• slavery or trafficking, like forcing you to work against your will
• domestic abuse, for example if you're being abused by a partner or family member
• if the place you're being cared for, like a care home or hospital, does not give you proper care
• if someone refuses to care for you properly, like not giving you the medication you need.

If any of this is happening to you, this is abuse.

Where abuse might happen

Abuse can happen in different places, including:

• in your home or someone else's home
• in a public place
• in places where you receive care, like in a hospital or care home.

Who might abuse you

The person abusing you might be someone you know well, like a carer, family member, partner or friend. Or they may be someone you do not know as well. You might have had a relationship with the person for a long time, and never have been abused by them before. Or, your relationship might go through good times and bad times.

It can be hard to know if you're being abused. You might not be sure whether the person's behaviour counts as abuse. You might have trusted the person. Or you might not have noticed that their behaviour has changed. But if you feel any of the following things, you might be being abused:

• afraid or in danger
• like you're not being cared for properly
• like you cannot talk about how you're feeling
• scared to speak up about their behaviour.

If you're a carer, you might be abused by the person you're looking after. 

Self-neglect

Self-neglect is a type of abuse. Self-neglect is when you refuse, or cannot, look after yourself, to a point where you might be at risk of harm. For example:

• you might refuse to wash or look after your personal hygiene
• you might refuse to take medication
• you might struggle to look after your home
• you might not go to medical appointments
• you might turn down help from other people.

If a healthcare professional is worried you're at risk of self-neglect, they have a duty to make sure you're okay. They may speak to you about your situation and find out what support you would find helpful.

Institutional abuse

You might experience abuse from organisations and services, too. This is known as institutional abuse. If a healthcare professional or service ignores your concerns, refuses to help you, or does not give you proper care, this could be abuse.

Read how to make a complaint about care.

What to do if you're being abused

If you're in danger, call 999.

If you're not in immediate danger, you should:

• speak to someone you trust, like a friend, family member or carer
• speak to someone involved in your care, like your GP, nurse or social worker
• call the social services department in your local council if you live in England, Scotland or Wales. Find your local council on the GOV.UK website  
• call the Adult Protection Gateway Service if you live in Northern Ireland. Find the number for your local Adult Protection Gateway Service  
• contact one of the organisations on this page. 

Why it's important to tell someone

We know that telling someone about your situation can feel incredibly difficult and frightening. If you're being abused, it's not your fault. You are not to blame. If you tell someone you trust, they will not judge you and they can help you to get the support you need.

If you're being abused, the person might tell you not to tell anyone. They might say that telling others will make things worse for you. And there are lots of other things which might stop you from telling someone. These could include:

• being afraid of the person and what they might do
• being worried about what will happen to the person
• feeling embarrassed, ashamed, scared
• feeling like a burden, or like you're overreacting
• not knowing who to talk to or who to trust
• having bad experiences with reporting things in the past
• not being sure if you are being abused or not
• pressure not to report it from family, or other people close to you
• fear of losing contact with the person or with other people.

But telling someone is the first step to getting support. If you tell someone they will not judge you and they will be able to support you.

Be aware that the person you talk to may have to tell another professional if they think you or someone else is in danger, or at risk of harm. This might be a social worker or someone from social services. The person will let you know they're reporting it. They'll talk you through what the next steps are and keep you involved in the process. Their priority is to make sure you are safe and well.

What will happen when you tell someone

When you report abuse, your concern will usually be passed on to social services. In England, Scotland and Wales, social services are part of your local council. In Northern Ireland, they're part of your local health and social care trust.

Social services will work with you to help you get support. You'll be involved in the decisions about what happens next. You'll be asked what you want to happen, and what you do not want to happen.

There are different types of support you could get, including:

• extra respite care for anyone looking after you
• support from a local organisation, like a carer or patient group
• changing the amount or type of care you get – for example, having a carer come into the home more often
• support to help you live more independently
• support around financial decisions and how to manage your money.

Social services will work with you to find the best options.

If you cannot make decisions for yourself, your healthcare professionals will make a decision which is in your best interests. Read more about what happens if you cannot make decisions.

If you think someone else is being abused

If you're worried someone you know is being abused, there are things you can do.

If you think someone is in danger, call 999.

If they're not in immediate danger, you can follow these steps.

Know the signs that someone might be being abused

Signs that someone may be being abused include:

• changes in the person's behaviour, like becoming quieter, angrier or more aggressive
• becoming more tearful or depressed
• not wanting to be left by themselves or alone with a particular person
• being unusually light-hearted or saying nothing's wrong
• looking untidy or dirty
• bruises, wounds or injuries which are not being treated
• the same injuries happening more than once
• the person's home being colder or more untidy than usual
• changes to the person's finances, like having less money than usual.

Talk to the person

If the person is not in immediate danger, talk to them about the situation. This can be really hard. But if you feel like something is different or unusual, it's important to speak to them.

Talk to the person when you're alone together, if it's safe to do so and it will not put them at risk of harm. Tell them you've noticed that something is different, and that you're worried.

The person might not want to talk about it. They might feel unsafe, or they might not recognise that they're being abused. Give them time to think about what you've said, and let them know you're there to talk.

If the person is worried or afraid, reassure them that it's OK to feel like they do, and that help is available. Let them know that they're not in trouble, and they have a right to feel safe. Let them know you're there if they need you.

Ask them if they want support from a professional or an organisation

Ask the person what they'd like to do and let them know that support is available. 

Try not to promise that you will not tell anyone what they've said – the best thing to do will often be to get help. If they do say something's wrong, say that you might have to speak to someone. You could speak to one of the people or services below for advice.

Organisations which can help

There are organisations which can provide support if you're being abused, or you're worried about someone else. Some of these have an email address, if you cannot call.

Be aware that some of these organisations may have to pass on your information to someone else, if they think you or another person is in danger.

Safe Spaces

Visit a Safe Space. Safe Spaces can be found in lots of pharmacies. They're a place you can go to find domestic abuse information or make phone calls to helplines. Just go into the pharmacy and ask to use their safe space. Read more about Safe Spaces on the UK Says No More website.  

Codeword schemes in pharmacies

You can also go into a pharmacy and ask for ANI (pronounced Annie). If the pharmacy has an Ask for ANI poster on display, they'll be able to help you. They'll let you use a private space, offer you a phone, and ask if you need help from domestic abuse support services. Read more about Ask for ANI on GOV.UK.  

Organisations you can call or email

The following organisations have phone numbers, email addresses, or web chats where you can speak to someone.

Across the UK

Bright Sky app or website  – can help you find a domestic abuse support service near you.

Hourglass   – supports older people who are at risk of abuse. Call the helpline on 0808 808 8141.

Men's Advice Line   – supports men who've experienced domestic abuse. Call the helpline on 0808 801 0327.

NSPCC  – a helpline for adults concerned about a child, and a helpline for children and young people.

England

National Domestic Abuse Helpline   – call the helpline on 0808 2000 247, use the webchat, or send an email.

Respond   – supports people with learning disabilities who've experienced abuse.

Women's Aid  – supports women and children in England who've experienced domestic abuse. You can chat to someone using webchat, send an email, or use the forum.

Northern Ireland

Domestic and Sexual Abuse helpline   – call the helpline on 0808 802 1414, use the webchat, or send an email.

Men's Advisory Project   – supports men who've experienced domestic abuse or need help with anger management.

Women's Aid Federation Northern Ireland   – supports women and children in Northern Ireland who've experienced domestic abuse. Use the website to find the phone number for your local branch.

Scotland

Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline  – call the helpline on 0800 027 1234, use the webchat, or send an email.

Scottish Women's Aid   – supports women and children in Scotland who've experienced domestic abuse. Use the website to find the phone number of your local branch.

Mental Welfare Commission for Scotland   – this website has information on your rights if you have an illness, and an advice line if you have questions about mental capacity and your rights.

Wales

Live Free Fear Helpline  – provides advice on domestic abuse, violence against women and sexual violence. Call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800, use the webchat, or send an email.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline   – call the helpline on 0808 2000 247, use the webchat, or send an email.

Welsh Women's Aid   – supports women and children in Wales who've experienced domestic abuse. Call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800, use the webchat, or send an email.