Looking after yourself if you live alone

If you live alone, or live with people you aren't close to, there are things you can do to make sure you're getting the care and support you need. Here, we talk about the care you can get at home, asking others for help, planning for the future, and what to do if you're feeling isolated.

On this page:

Checklist: living alone with a terminal illness

Here are some things you could put in place to give you reassurance you'll get the support you need:

• Speak to those close to you about any support you need or practical tasks they could help with.
• Think about moving in with someone else, whether that's practical, and whether it's something you both would want.
• Let your doctor or nurse know that you live on your own.
• Contact your local council or health and social care trust to get a needs assessment.
• Check what financial support you could get with our benefits calculator.
• Put a plan in place in case you have an emergency or need to go into hospital or a hospice.
• Make an advance care plan to let healthcare professionals know how you'd like to be looked after.
• Write down a list of important contacts, like your healthcare team and emergency contact, and share it with those close to you.

Questions you might have if you're ill and living alone

You might be living on your own or living with people you don't know very well. When you have a terminal illness, this can bring up lots of different worries and feelings. You might be thinking about practical things, like:

• your first point of contact if you had an emergency or needed help
• how to get to appointments if you can't manage yourself
• how you'll do chores around the house, like cooking and cleaning
• who could help you with things like going to the toilet and washing.

You might also be dealing with lots of emotions, like feeling:

• scared in case you become more unwell and there's nobody around to help
• scared of dying on your own
• worried about asking for help, especially if you feel like you're asking a lot
• worried about losing your independence
• isolated, if you're not getting enough support.

This page will cover the practical things you can do to make sure you're getting the support you need. It will also cover what to do if you're feeling isolated or are worried about asking for help.

Need to talk?

We're here to listen. Our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to support you:

• Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309.
• Chat to us on webchat.
• Send us an email at support@mariecurie.org.uk.
• Speak to other people in similar situations on our online community.

Our Support Line is open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am – 5pm on Saturday.

Asking for help

It's important to ask for help if you need it. If you have family members, friends, or other people who are important to you, don't be afraid to ask them for support. You could ask for specific things, like help with shopping, collecting medication from the pharmacy, or calling you every day to check in. Here are some things to think about:

• Make a list of practical tasks you need help with – for example, they could come with you to medical appointments, or do your shopping.
• Make a list of emotional support you might need – for example, calling to check in regularly or speaking to you about how you're feeling.
• You could set up a WhatsApp group on your phone of people who could support you. They might find it helpful to set up a schedule of who can help and when.
• If you work, speak to your employer about your situation. If you don't feel comfortable doing this, your company might have an employee assistance programme or a Human Resources department you could speak to.
• There might not be anyone you feel comfortable asking for help from. Or, you might prefer to speak to someone you don't know so well. You could speak to your healthcare team, or there are lots of organisations which offer helper or befriending services. Read more about these below.

Getting care in your home

Social care is practical help with things like everyday tasks and looking after yourself. If you live on your own, social care can help you with things like:

• getting meals delivered to your home if you're struggling to cook
• personal alarms and home security, in case you have a fall or an emergency
• having a carer who can come and look after you.

In England, Scotland and Wales, social care is provided by your local council. In Northern Ireland, it's provided by your health and social care trust. To get it, you'll need to have a needs assessment. Contact your local social care service to arrange an assessment. Find contact details in:

• England and Wales  
• Northern Ireland  
• Scotland.  

If you can't contact social services, someone else can contact them for you. This could be a family member or friend, or a health and social care professional, like a GP or social worker.

If you're eligible for it, social care should be put in place as soon as possible. You may have to pay for some or all of the care you get.

Read more about social care.

You can also pay for a carer yourself without going through the council. Read more about getting a paid carer.  

Getting equipment for your home

You might find it difficult to move around your home, or do things like have a shower, especially if there isn't anyone around to help you. Getting equipment or adaptations for your home could make this easier. Equipment includes things like walking aids and seats for the shower. Adaptations include things like handrails by the front door, a ramp, and stairlifts.

You can get equipment and adaptions:

• through your social care needs assessment 
• by speaking to your doctor or nurse
• by buying equipment yourself.

You can also get information about equipment and adaptations from a Home Improvement Agency (HIA). A HIA can give you advice about getting adaptations, and there are agencies in most areas of the UK. Find a Home Improvement Agency near you:

• in England  
• in Northern Ireland  
• in Scotland  
• in Wales.  

Read more about getting equipment.

Read more about home adaptations.

Planning for the future

You could make a plan for what you want to happen in the future. This could include:

• whether you want to move in with someone, and who that might be
• whether you would want to pay for a carer to come and look after you, or pay for a cleaner to help with the housework
• whether you would want to move into a care home or nursing home
• what kind of care you'd like to receive if you become more ill
• any treatments you would or wouldn't want to have
• what you'd like to happen to your things when you die.

Read more about planning for the future, including a list of things you could plan for.

Planning for an emergency

You might want to think about what would happen if you had an emergency at home, or if you had to be cared for somewhere else, like a hospital or hospice. You could:

• think about who you would want to be with you, and ask them if they're happy to be your emergency contact – it could be more than one person
• tell your emergency contact about any important documents in your house, like an advance care plan
• write down the contact details of your emergency contact and your healthcare team, and put them somewhere noticeable, for example on the fridge. You can also share their details with any other people supporting you.
• put the names of your emergency contact and healthcare team in your phone
• give your healthcare team the name and number of your emergency contact
• write down the things that need looking after in your house while you're away – for example, a pet that needs feeding or an alarm system which needs setting
• tell your emergency contact how to get in your house or give them a key.

Financial support

You may be able to access benefits which could help with the cost of your illness. Although there isn't a specific benefit for people with a terminal illness, you may be able to claim other disability and sickness benefits. You could also receive these quicker because you are ill.

Use our benefits calculator to find out what benefits you could get.

If you're feeling lonely or isolated

If you're feeling lonely or isolated, you could get in touch with a befriending scheme.

A befriending scheme is a network of people, usually volunteers, who can provide regular companionship and conversation by visiting you at home or ringing you on the phone. There are lots of free befriending schemes in the UK:

• Companion at home   A trained volunteer can visit you at home for a chat, or take you out.
• Companion over the phone  Get a regular call from a volunteer. They can provide ongoing support and be a friendly ear when you need to talk.
• Macmillan Telephone Buddy.   Get a weekly call from a volunteer to talk about how you're feeling and services which are available to you.
• Age UK.   The charity runs a network of befriending services, which work by matching up an older person with a befriender. It also runs a telephone befriending service if you can't leave the house.

Use the Befriending Directory to find services in your area.  

If you'd rather chat online, you could use an online community or forum. There are lots of forums for specific illnesses, as well as forums about particular interests. Here are some you could try:

• Dementia Talking Point   – Alzheimer's Society's forum for anyone affected by dementia
• Marie Curie's Online Community – for anyone affected by terminal illness
• Macmillan Cancer Support's Online Community   – for anyone affected by cancer
• MND Association's Online Forum   – for anyone affected by Motor Neurone Disease

Living alone during coronavirus

Coronavirus (covid-19) might mean you're less able to spend time with people or get the support you usually would. If you're vulnerable or extremely vulnerable, you may have been advised to shield by the government.

There are some things you can do, and services available, to make sure you're still getting the support you need:

• Form a support bubble with another household. This means you can go into their home and act as if you're one household. You don't have to form a support bubble, and if you don't feel comfortable doing this, that's OK. Read more about seeing other people during coronavirus.
• If you have a carer, or if you provide care to someone else, you can still go into each other's homes for care.
• NHS Volunteer Responders can deliver food you've bought, prescriptions, and essential items.   You can book priority slots at supermarkets too.
• You can access a range of NHS services from home, including ordering repeat prescriptions or contacting your health professional through an online consultation. To find out more, visit NHS Health at home.  

Read more about end of life care during coronavirus on our coronavirus hub.

External websites

Age UK  

Befriending Networks  

Care and Repair  

Macmillan Telephone Buddy  

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