Helping someone relax
Getting comfortable
If the person you care for is spending more time in bed or a chair, you may need to help them change position regularly. This can help them stay comfortable and avoid putting too much pressure on certain parts of their body.
Read how to move someone safely in bed.
You could also ask them how you could make their room or home more comfortable. They may want you to adjust:
- the room temperature and lighting
- any background noise from other parts of the home
- items they want displayed, like photos or flowers
- items they need within easy reach, like their glasses, phone or book.
Get tips for making someone’s room or home comfortable.
Relaxing activities
Be guided by what the person wants to do. Doing something relaxing can mean different things to different people. Ask them if there’s something they’d like to do and try not to pressure them if there isn’t.
There may be times when they feel like going outdoors so they can sit in the garden or the park. Other times they may want to watch TV, listen to music or have a chat. Sometimes it can be relaxing not to do very much.
Breathing and relaxation techniques
You could suggest simple relaxation techniques to help the person focus less on their symptoms, relieve stress and sleep better, such as:
- breathing exercises and guided meditation
- physical touch, like holding your hand
- gently stroking or touching their hands or feet.
Check with their GP or district nurse before using any oils or creams, especially if they're having radiotherapy or chemotherapy. Use very gentle pressure if they're frail. Speak to the GP if they have any shiny patches of skin or swelling.
Try to be patient and sensitive. Don't take it personally if they recently enjoyed having their hand stroked but don't want it today. Some people don't like to be touched, especially when they're feeling unwell.
Complementary therapies
Before trying any complementary therapies, speak to the GP or district nurse to find out if they're safe for the person you care for.
Complementary therapies are treatments people can have alongside their regular medical care, which may help them to relax. They include:
- aromatherapy, where you use essential oils in a warm bath or oil burner
- reflexology, a type of massage for hands and feet.
Find out more about how complementary therapies can help.
If you can’t help them relax
It can be upsetting if you’ve tried different things but can’t help the person relax. You could:
- ask if they’re worried about something and if they’d like to speak with someone
- check if there are any changes in their symptoms or pain
- get advice from their GP or healthcare team
- speak with other people in similar situations on our online community.
Feelings and worries
As the person becomes more unwell, they might need more support from you. This can bring about lots of different feelings for both of you. You might find some of the tasks physically and emotionally difficult. The person you care for might feel less in control and less confident. And they may be worried about losing their dignity and privacy.
If either of you have concerns or don’t feel comfortable, speak to the GP or district nurse. They can talk you through the options and organise for someone to help with the person's personal care. You could also ask for a professional to be there the first time you carry out a care task. If they’re not able to be there in person, they might be able to give you support over the phone.
Need to talk?
Life is more challenging right now, but we're still here for you.
No matter your worries, our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to listen.
- Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309
- Chat to us on webchat
- Send us an email at support@mariecurie.org.uk
- Speak with other people in similar situations on our online community
Our Support Line is open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am – 5pm on Saturday.
About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
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