Helping someone use the toilet
Safety first
It's important to be safe when you help someone move. Being safe can help you to avoid getting injured. Before you help someone, read the instructions below.
Don't try to lift someone on your own. You risk injuring yourself and them.
Talk to the GP, district nurse or occupational therapist if you have any concerns. They'll tell you how to help them move safely. They may suggest aids or equipment.
Carer's assessment
You can get a carer's assessment from your local social care services too. This isn't to assess how good you are at caring, but to ask you about your needs and how being a carer impacts your life. The person you care for can also ask for an assessment.
You may find that you're entitled to equipment or a home adaptation to help you provide care. Social services can provide equipment and training with moving and handling. You can also find equipment online.
Find out how to apply for a carer's assessment.
Read more about adapting your home and getting equipment.
Equipment
The GP, district nurse or occupational therapist can give information about suitable equipment. You could ask about:
- waterproof mattress protectors and bed pads
- a commode, bedpan or urinal
- a removable raised toilet seat
- handrails near to the toilet
- bed or chair raisers.
A commode is a chair with a removable container inside it. You can place the commode close to the bed and empty the container after use. You can get a commode screen to place around it for privacy.
A toilet seat in a bright colour can be useful if the person has sight loss or dementia. Some people with dementia have difficulty making out objects. It may be easier for them to see where the toilet is if the seat is a different colour to the rest of the room. You can also buy lights that go inside the toilet which make it easier to see at night.
Helping someone use the toilet or commode
The person you care for may be able to use a toilet or commode if they can get out of bed. But they may need some support from you if you’re able to help.
Find out how to help someone stand and walk safely.
If they use a commode, ask them where they'd like it placed.
If they need to sit down on the toilet or commode, they might need to hold onto something secure like a rail to lower themselves. You may need to help them undo fasteners or remove their clothes.
Give them some privacy while they use the toilet or commode. Turn away from them if you need to stay in the room. If you leave the room, stay close in case they need you. Ask them to let you know when they finish and are ready for your help again.
You may need to support them by:
- passing them toilet paper or wet wipes to clean themselves
- helping them stand
- helping them to put on or button up clothes
- cleaning them with toilet paper or wet wipes if they cannot manage
- helping them clean their hands.
Urine infections can be caused by spreading germs from the anus to the urethra (part of the body where pee comes out). Wipe from the front to the back to prevent germs being spread and causing infection.
Do not flush wet wipes or other products down the toilet. Put them in a plastic bag to throw away once you're finished, or put them directly into your rubbish bin.
Making it easier to use the toilet
The following things can make it easier to use the toilet:
- Allow plenty of time so the person doesn’t feel rushed. Work around their routine.
- Place a chair halfway if it’s a long walk to the toilet so they can have a rest.
- Keep the floor free from clutter so they don’t trip.
- Keep a light on to help them safely reach the toilet during the night.
- If they have difficulty communicating, they may already have a way of letting you know when they need the toilet. If not, try to find a way to ask them. It can be helpful to have pictures of a toilet or toilet paper to point at.
Helping someone use a bedpan
If the person can't get out of bed, they may want your help to use a bedpan. You may want to ask a healthcare professional to be with you the first time you help with this. If they're not able to be there in person, they may be able to give you support over the phone.
Take your time and talk to the person as you go, so they know what you're about to do. Ask them to sit up in bed if possible, and support them with lots of pillows so their back is in an upright position. If they have an adjustable bed, adjust it so that their head and back are raised.
- If the person can lift their back and bottom off the bed (sometimes called making a bridge), ask them to do this. Slide a waterproof pad underneath them in case there are any spills.
- Supporting their lower back with one hand, place the curved edge of the bedpan underneath their buttocks. Then ask them to rest their weight on the pan. Cover their lap with a towel to maintain their dignity.
- If they can't lift their back up, you'll need to roll them on to their side. With the bedpan in place, roll them back onto the bedpan.
- Check they're balanced and stable before giving them privacy while they use the bedpan. They could hold onto a bed guard or rail to keep steady.
- When they're finished, ask them to raise their buttocks. Slide the pan out gently while supporting their lower back. If they're not able to do this, you'll need to roll them.
- Cover the bedpan with a towel and put it on a chair while you clean the person.
- Wipe them with toilet paper first, then wet wipes if needed. Dry the area gently.
- Roll them into a comfortable position and cover them with a sheet so they're not exposed.
- Give them some wet wipes and antibacterial gel to wash their hands, or soap, water and a warm flannel.
- Replace their clothing and duvet. Empty the bedpan in the toilet. Wash it in hot water and dry it, ready to be used again.
Helping someone use a penis sheath
A penis sheath fits over the penis like a condom. A tube attaches the sheath to a bag which you can empty when it gets full. The GP or district nurse can show you how to use one.
Changing sheets
Fluid may leak on to the sheets when you remove the bedpan, even if you’ve used protective pads.
Find out how to change sheets when the person's still in bed.
Hygiene and bowel and bladder problems
Sometimes people lose the ability to control their bladder or bowel. This is called incontinence. They may:
- need to go to the toilet urgently or often
- leak urine or poo, sometimes without realising
- wet or soil the bed
- not make it to the toilet in time.
Sometimes things can get messy, and you may find that you need to change the bed, their clothes and your own clothes often.
The person might be anxious about wetting the bed or incontinence. Try reassuring them that you're there to help. Speak to the GP or district nurse for advice on the best hygiene products and how to manage incontinence.
Find out about incontinence products through the NHS.
Get advice from Bladder and Bowel UK. Or, call the helpline on 0161 607 8219.
Read more about constipation, diarrhoea and bowel problems.
Signs of pressure sores and skin damage
When someone stays in the same position for a long time, the parts of their body that carry the most weight may become sore or numb. The pressure can cause the skin to break down and cause pressure ulcers (bed sores).
When you help the person to use the toilet, this can be a good time to ask them if you can check their skin. Someone may have one or more of these signs of a pressure ulcer:
- Discoloured patches of skin that may not fade when you press them:
- People with lighter skin tones may get red patches.
- People with darker skin tones may get purple or blue patches, or patches that are a different colour than the surrounding area – usually darker.
- An area of skin that is a different temperature or feels harder or softer than the surrounding skin.
- Swelling, pain or itchiness in the affected area.
Do not rub the area. If you see any of these signs, tell their GP or district nurse as soon as possible. These can all be signs of bed sores, even if the skin is not broken.
Helping them change position regularly can relieve the pressure and help them feel more comfortable.
Get more advice on pressure ulcers from the NHS.
If they refuse your help or you’re unable to help
It can be frustrating if the person refuses help, or you’re unable to help them as you would like. If it becomes a problem, try speaking to the GP or district nurse. They can guide the conversation so that everyone is heard, and they can help to find a solution that works.
Feelings and worries
As the person becomes more unwell, they might need more support from you. This can bring about lots of different feelings for both of you. You might find some of the tasks physically and emotionally difficult. The person you care for might feel less in control and less confidence. And they may be worried about losing their dignity and privacy.
If either of you have concerns or do not feel comfortable, speak to the GP or district nurse. They can talk you through the options and organise for someone to help with the person's personal care. You could also ask for a professional to be there the first time you carry out a care task. If they’re not able to be there in person, they might be able to give you support over the phone.
Need to talk?
Life is more challenging right now, but we're still here for you.
No matter your worries, our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to listen.
- Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309
- Chat to us on webchat
- Send us an email at support@mariecurie.org.uk
- Speak with other people in similar situations on our online community
Our Support Line is open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am – 5pm on Saturday.
About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
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