Choosing a funeral director
If you decide to use a funeral director, you might think it best to choose someone you feel comfortable with. It's also important to compare costs for different funeral directors and to know that you can pay for their services.
On this page:
What does a funeral director do?
Using a funeral director can make things a bit easier, but it's usually more expensive. There are several different options:
- The funeral director makes all the arrangements. They follow your instructions so that you get the funeral you want (within the limits of the law and what you can afford).
- The funeral director makes most of the arrangements, but you organise some things yourself. For example, you could bring flowers from your garden, or family and friends could act as bearers for the coffin. Or you might decide that you will liaise directly with the venue for the ceremony.
- You arrange the funeral entirely on your own − or with the funeral director organising specific things, such as the coffin or hearse.
Finding a funeral director
Check whether the person who died had a financial funeral plan with a specific funeral company (a burial or cremation they've already paid for). My Funeral Matters has a service to help trace plans if you think they had a plan but you cannot find it.
You can also check if the person who died made a Will – and if they left instructions about funeral arrangements in their Will.
If you want to choose a funeral director, it can help to think about the following:
- Ask for recommendations from friends, or a local faith leader.
- Use the directory in The Good Funeral Guide .
- Look for a member of a professional association such as the National Association of Funeral Directors or the National Association of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors .
- If the person who died wanted an eco-friendly funeral or a woodland burial, contact the Association of Green Funeral Directors or the Natural Death Centre .
Questions to ask a funeral director
Here are some questions that you may want to ask the funeral director:
- What services do you provide?
- Are you familiar with the type of ceremony we want? This may be important if the service is to follow a particular faith or cultural tradition.
- Can we pick and choose from your list of services and just pay for the ones we choose?
- What do your charges include?
- Are any items in your quote optional and are there alternatives?
- When do we pay the bill?
- Do we have to pay a deposit?
- Can we buy a coffin or its equivalent from another source?
- Can we provide our own transport?
- Can friends or family members carry the coffin?
Before you confirm your choice, you should contact a few funeral directors to compare prices and options. You also want to feel sure that they will give you the attention and support you need. A funeral director's quote should separate out fees from third parties (for example, crematoriums, the faith leader, doctors) so you can compare costs. They can also give you a written estimate.
You can ask for a price list or cost breakdown to help you decide which items and services to choose.
Read more detailed information about funeral costs.
Here are some things to think about:
- You may need to check that a specific date is available.
- If you plan to organise part of the funeral yourself, check that the funeral director is happy with this. Some may see certain responsibilities as part of their service while others will be more flexible.
- It's not always cheaper to do things yourself, so check how much things will cost before you decide.
- Even if you make your own arrangements, some funeral directors can still provide certain services for a charge. For example, they may deal with documentation, supply a simple coffin, or hire out a hearse or other vehicle. It may be possible to use their mortuary.
What to expect when the funeral director collects the person's body
You can contact the funeral director once you're ready. There is no rush. They will normally come within an hour of you contacting them.
You can ask the funeral director to arrive later if you want more time to sit with the person's body, wait for family or friends to arrive, or simply to have time with your own thoughts.
Some people may find it distressing to see the person's body being moved or watch the preparations. For other people, it can be very important to be in the room when a person is being collected by a funeral director and to be involved in that process. You may want to ask the funeral director what will be involved, so you can decide whether you choose to stay or leave.
It's your choice and there's no right or wrong thing to do – it's a personal decision. If your faith or culture has specific traditions about this, then you should let the funeral director know and your wishes should be respected.
Once you've contacted them, funeral directors usually take the person's body away quite quickly. But in most cases, they do not have to. If you're using a funeral director and want to keep the person's body at home for a few hours, you can discuss this with them.
If the person died in hospital
If the person died in hospital, their body will usually be taken to the hospital mortuary. You can then arrange for a funeral director to take it to their premises, or for their body to be taken home.
How much are the funeral director fees?
Funeral director fees vary across the UK, but the average fee is around £2,600*. This will often include a coffin, hearse, collection and care of the deceased, and professional guidance.
It's OK to ask for simpler or less expensive options. You should not feel any pressure to make choices that you cannot afford, or do not want. Having a less expensive funeral does not reflect on the person who's died or how much they meant to you.
Read more about paying for the funeral.
*This is the figure for 2023 taken from the Sun Life Report which is updated each year. Sun Life is an insurance and funeral plan company that does not have any affiliation with Marie Curie.
If you do not use a funeral director
You do not have to use a funeral director if you do not want to. You can contact your local cemeteries and cremation department to get information about arranging a funeral yourself.
It could be either a traditional funeral, or an alternative one such as a natural burial in a woodland. To find out more, contact the cemeteries and crematorium department of your local council or the Natural Death Centre.
Read more about organising a funeral.
Getting support
It can be difficult to make funeral arrangements when you are also dealing with your own feelings of grief. If you feel like you want to talk to someone you can call our Support Line for free on 0800 090 2309.
Useful websites
Association of Green Funeral Directors
National Association of Funeral Directors
National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors
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About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
