Miriam Margolyes with Tracy at the Marie Curie Hospice, Glasgow.

Making recordings for friends and family

“It takes a while to get comfortable with the idea of making recordings for your loved ones,” said Tracy.

“For a lot of people, it’s very difficult to know what to say. Even when your family comes to visit you, you might chat or play Bananagrams…

“But it’s often that time once they’ve gone in the middle of the night when you think of something you’d love to tell them.

“Sometimes those things are never said which you want to record. Telling someone how to make the best macaroni cheese is not necessarily a conversation you have.  But if someone’s recorded them, you’ve always got that person’s voice saying: ‘Don’t forget to crumble in the extra bit of cheese to get the stringy bits’.

“A mum might not be lucid when her children visit during the day, but she might have a moment of great lucidity during the night.

“Making recordings means when the children come back the next day, they can listen to her telling a story about when they were children. That’s priceless.

“It reduces my worries to know my daughter has those little tapes for when I’m gone – what to do when there’s a spider in the bedroom.

“If one other person gives their loved one a Dictaphone so that at two in the morning, or whenever it might be, they can record a little message, or some advice when they suddenly remember what someone might struggle with, or what to say in a situation, or how to open the garage door so it doesn’t stick…then that’s reason enough to have done it.”

Deciding to be filmed for TV

“It wasn’t an easy decision to get involved with documentary, at such an intensive, private time in my life. I was rather loathe to suddenly let a camera crew come crashing in.

“But when I discussed it with them in more detail, they were interested in the specific things I’m doing to prepare for my own death. They said they hadn’t come across them before and they thought it would be of genuine interest to other people.

“So, I thought, maybe this was an opportunity to share those ideas. I was a teacher before I got ill, and I love ideas and I love sharing ways of doing things.

“It’s a lovely way of beating cancer – to share an idea of other people that might bring comfort to families in future, long after their loved one had died.

“If one other person benefits from the things I’m doing and it gives them comfort, that, to me, is worth it’.”

Read a blog by Miriam's doctor at our Glasgow hospice, Libby Ferguson, remembering Tracy and reflecting on what she's learned about preparing for death during the course of her work.

Miriam’s Dead Good Adventure aired at 9pm on Sunday 28 April on BBC Two. Watch a clip from the episode: