Your needs as a carer
Looking after someone with a terminal illness can be physically, emotionally and financially demanding. There may be times when it’s difficult to think about anything else, and carers sometimes feel that they should be doing more. It’s important to think about your own health and wellbeing too. We share ways you can try to take a break, and small things you can do to look after yourself when you have time.
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If you find it challenging to look after your health and wellbeing while you’re caring for someone, you’re not alone. Many carers put their own needs last.
Other people may be giving you lots of advice to look after yourself, but you may not have the time or energy. Everyone’s different and find their own ways of coping when life gets hard. Try to do what you can, when you can.
You may find some of the following things can help you switch off, maintain some normality, and look after your health and wellbeing.
Getting support
You may feel that there’s not enough hours in the day when you’re juggling things like care, work, family life and other commitments. It can help to acknowledge your feelings when you’re tired and stressed and think about how you’re coping.
Try writing a list of the support the person you’re caring for needs and work out:
- what you can help them with
- what things you need support with
- how to tell when things become too much for you to cope with.
Find out how to ask for support from family and friends.
You’re entitled to a carer’s needs assessment from your local social care services. In Scotland, you can have an adult carer support plan or young carer statement. This isn’t to assess how good you are at caring, but to ask you about your needs and how being a carer impacts your life.
You may find that you’re entitled to:
- equipment or a home adaptation to help you provide care
- help from a paid care worker
- respite so you can take a break from caring
- financial support like Carer’s Allowance.
Find out how to apply for a carer’s needs assessment.
Read about respite and break options for carers.
Need to talk?
Life is more challenging right now, but we're still here for you.
No matter your worries, our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to listen.
- Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309
- Chat to us on webchat
- Send us an email at support@mariecurie.org.uk
- Speak with other people in similar situations on our online community
Our Support Line is open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am – 5pm on Saturday. On bank holidays we're open 10am – 4pm.
Taking care of your health
Carers worry about the impact of caring on their physical and mental health.
If you’re feeling stressed, tired or low in energy, you may find it helps to:
- get outside for some fresh air
- try to eat something healthy
- take a nap or a bath
- try a relaxation technique.
It can be hard to find the motivation to do these things. You could ask a friend to go for a walk or to cook a meal with you.
Your own medical appointments may not seem like a priority either. But delaying seeing your GP or dentist could cause problems later.
Speak with your GP if you’re worried about anything.
Making some time for normal life
Some carers find that caring gradually takes over their life and they lose their interests and hobbies, and contact with friends and family. Try building in some time for yourself into your day – even if it’s just for 10 minutes. You might relax with a magazine, enjoy a hot bath, call a friend – whatever makes you feel good.
It can be hard to make the time for catching up but keeping in touch with others can help. If you don’t feel like talking, you could try:
- organising a video call to catch up or play a quiz
- watching the same TV programmes or reading the same books and talking about them
- playing games online.
Learn how to use technology to keep in touch with family and friends.
Coping with feelings
Caring comes with all sorts of feelings. Some days, caring can feel rewarding. Other days, you can be overcome with guilt, resentment, anger, loneliness and depression.
Sometimes the difficult emotions of caring and grief can feel like or change into depression. Common symptoms of depression like feeling tired, forgetful and losing your appetite could be caused by the extra demands of caring. It can help to talk about how you feel.
Try talking to someone you trust, your GP or the Samaritans on 116 123. Or call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309.
The great thing was that the Marie Curie Nurses were allowing us all to get some much-needed rest and quality time together as a family, with all Mum’s care needs looked after.
About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
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