Going back to work after a bereavement

You may be thinking about going back to work after a bereavement. Grief affects everyone differently and can impact your work. It's important to think about what support or adjustments you might need to be able to start working again.

This page describes some of the ways that your employer can offer support after a bereavement. What is possible might depend on your role and the organisation you work for.

Talking to your employer

A gradual or phased return to work

Flexible working

Preparing to go back to work

Getting support at work

Talking to your employer

You might want to ask your line manager or HR team, if you have one, about what types of support are available from your employer to help you go back to work.

They may suggest a "return to work" meeting or a call to discuss this before you start work again. If they don't suggest this, you can still ask for a meeting with your manager to discuss your return. 

A gradual or phased return to work

This is when you agree with your employer to a gradual return to work. This could mean coming back to work initially on reduced hours and gradually increasing them to your usual work pattern. Or it could mean returning to work with some of your workload, or responsibilities, held back until you’re better able to take them on.

Grief can be unpredictable. If, once you're fully back to work, you're finding it difficult to manage as a result of your grief, you can talk to your manager or HR team about the support they can offer.

Whether or not you can do a phased return will depend on your role and organisation. If you're not sure, speak to your manager or HR team if you have one.

Flexible working

You may be able to ask for flexible working to help you deal with grief or other changes in your life. Flexible working includes things like working part time, working from home, working compressed hours (the same number of hours each week, but spread across fewer days) and having a flexible start and finish time.

The death of your loved one might mean that you now have more responsibilities, such as caring for a child or bereaved parent. You may want to speak to your employer about flexible working arrangements that can fit around your new responsibilities at home.

You usually have the right to ask for flexible working if you've been working for the same employer continuously for 26 weeks. Your employer doesn't have to agree to flexible working – they will consider the impact on the business before agreeing to flexible working. Even if they can't commit to it long term, it might be something that they can arrange for a short term period after your bereavement.

Preparing to go back to work

Before you go back to work, you can speak to your manager so that you feel prepared. It can help to know what your colleagues have been told about your bereavement. You can ask your manager to pass on any information that you would like your colleagues to know. If you want to, you can also tell them about anything you do or don't want them to say. For example, you might want to let them know it's OK to ask how you're doing and how you've been.

You may be worried about getting upset at work. It's normal to get upset if you're talking about how you're feeling or thinking about the person who died.

It can help to plan how you might deal with this at work - for example, taking some deep breaths, speaking to a colleague or going for a short walk if that's possible. You may also want to speak to your line manager or HR team about what to do if you're at work and feel unable to work or are finding things too difficult.

It's very difficult to know how you'll manage when you're back at work. But it might help to be aware of how grief might affect your work and speak to your line manager about any concerns that you have.

It can help to tell your manager if there are any practical things that you still need to do and might need time off for - for example, sorting out the person's Will or funeral.

You can also ask your manager about any updates or changes from when you've been away so that you know what to expect.

Getting support at work

There might be different ways that your work can support you, including an Employee Assistance Programme or support from your line manager or colleagues. Find out more about getting support at work.

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