Planning your own funeral

Funeral planning checklist

Planning a funeral can feel overwhelming. There are lots of things to consider and you might want to plan some, or all of them. We've included a short checklist on this page to guide you through the process.

1. Decide which parts of your funeral you'd like to plan. You might only want to plan some parts. Or you could plan all of it. Read more about things to think about when planning your funeral.
   
   
2. Write your wishes down.
   
   
3. Consider if you'd like to leave money for the funeral or pay for it in advance. If this is your chosen option, leave details of your arrangements with your wishes. Read more about paying for your funeral.
   
   
4. Put the document with your plans and any payment arrangements somewhere safe. This might be with your other important documents, such as your advance care plan or your Will.
   
   
5. Tell the people important to you, your healthcare team, or your solicitor where you've left your important documents. Read more about telling others about your decisions.

Things to think about when planning your funeral

There are lots of things to think about when planning a funeral. We've suggested some questions to think about below.

If you feel comfortable, you could write down some of your answers. This could help you, or those close to you, to arrange your funeral in the way you want.

You can revisit, change or update your funeral plan at any time.

Is there someone you'd like to organise the funeral?

• Who will take responsibility for contacting the funeral director and organising the day? This might be family, a friend, or someone else you trust.

What would you like to happen to your body?

• Do you want to be buried or cremated? Read more about the different burial and cremation options available.
• Do you have any wishes about how your body should be prepared for burial or cremation? For example, are there any special clothes you would like to wear?
• If you're cremated, would you like someone to keep your ashes, scatter or bury them? Where would you like your ashes to be scattered or buried?
• Who would you like to carry your coffin?
• What name would you like to be shown on your headstone? It's important to let people important to you, or the funeral director, know if you'd like a specific name – especially if you have previously been known by another name.
• Is there anything else specific you'd like on your headstone?

What will the ceremony be like?

• Where would you like to have your funeral service? This can be separate to the place of burial or cremation. It can be anywhere you choose – as long as the venue agrees.
• Would you like a religious, non-religious or no ceremony?
• Is there a specific faith leader or other celebrant you would like to conduct the service?
• What name would you like to used during the ceremony? It's important to let people important to you, or the funeral director know if you'd like a specific name to be used – especially if you have previously been known as another name.
• What music would you like played?
• Are there any poems, prayers or readings you want included?
• Who would you like to do readings or make speeches?
• What would you like people attending the ceremony to wear?
• Would you like any photos or videos to be shown?

How would you like to be remembered?

• Would you want people to send flowers or donate to a charity of your choice?
• Would you like the people important to you to have a wake, gathering or party afterwards? If so, where?

Visit our Online Community to connect with others and share ideas about planning your own funeral. 

Planning your funeral in a short time

If you are planning your own funeral in a short time, you might like to prioritise what you'd like to plan.

You could tart by thinking about the things you feel most strongly about. This might include if you'd like to be buried or cremated. Or, it might be music you'd like to be played, or where you'd like the ceremony.
You do not have to plan everything, change your Will, or contact a funeral director.

Simply writing some of your preferences down, and keeping them in a safe place, will help the people arranging your funeral know your wishes.

Telling others about your funeral plans or wishes

You could tell the people important to you about what you want for your funeral. It might help to write your wishes down to make things easier for them to remember and follow.

If you organise your funeral through a funeral director, you can ask them to send copies of the arrangements to you, the people important to you, or a solicitor.

Advance care plans

You can also write your wishes in a document called an advance care plan or advance statement. In Scotland this document is called an anticipatory care plan or a future care plan. In Wales, you might hear it called an advance or future care plan.

Writing down your wishes in an advance care plan can make it easier for people to understand and follow them in the future. You can also include if you'd like any religious or spiritual needs to be reflected in your care or funeral.

Read more about advance care plans.

Wills

Another way to make your wishes known is to write them in your Will. But, this is the only part of a Will that is not legally binding.

This means the people acting on your Will do not have to follow your wishes. This is why it can also help to talk to people about what you'd like for your funeral.

If you want to include your funeral details in your Will, make a separate copy of your wishes. This means people will know your wishes even if your Will is found too late to organise your funeral.

Once you have made your plans or wishes, make sure they are somewhere safe and you've told someone where they can find them.

Paying for your funeral

If you'd like to pay for your funeral in advance, there are several options.

Pre-paid funeral plans

You might like to consider paying for your funeral in advance with a pre-paid funeral plan. It's important to check which costs would be covered with any funeral plan, and if there are any restrictions.

Usually, pre-paid funeral plans will not cover the full cost of a funeral. Some basic plans only cover a small amount of the costs. Things like flowers, catering and the wake are usually not included. You might also need to pay extra for burial or cremation fees.

It's a good idea to check what a plan covers to avoid any surprises.

Find out more about paying for a funeral via a pre-paid plan on the MoneyHelper website.

Insurance

You could consider paying for your funeral with a whole life insurance plan. This is life insurance that pays out a sum of money when you die. This money could then be used towards your funeral costs.

With this type of insurance, you do not usually select what you'd like beforehand, or fix the cost of your funeral.

Find out more about paying for a funeral via insurance on the MoneyHelper website  .

Leaving money in your estate

You might choose to leave money to cover your funeral costs when you die. Your bank or building society can usually release funds to pay for the funeral, but it's worth checking with them about how to do this.

If you'd like to leave money in your bank account to cover the cost of your funeral, it could be a good idea to write this down in your Will, or in a separate letter of wishes. Letting the executors of your Will know where the money is kept might make organising the funeral easier and quicker.

Read more about planning ahead for your bank accounts and finances.

Read more about making a Will.

What happens if you cannot afford a funeral?

If you have a partner or close family member that receives certain state benefits, they might be able to receive a Funeral Expenses Payment. This is called a Funeral Support Payment in Scotland.

How much your family member is entitled to depends on their circumstances, and if other money is available to cover the costs. For example, from any funeral insurance, a pre-paid funeral plan, or money and property you've left.

The payment does not usually cover all the costs of a funeral.

Read more about help with funeral costs:

• if you live in England and Wales  
• if you live in Scotland  
• if you live in Northern Ireland.  

Read information about help with funeral costs.

Read information for family and friends about paying for a funeral.

If you do not have any money left in your estate, or there is no one close to you who can arrange and pay for the funeral, the local council or hospital can arrange a simple funeral for you. This is known as a Public Health Funeral.

Check your local authority website for more information about Public Health Funerals in your area.  

Living funerals

A living funeral is a ceremony like a traditional funeral, but the person it's celebrating is still alive. It can be a way for you to celebrate your life with the people important to you.

There is no set structure to a living funeral. It might involve people close to you coming together to share stories, readings, and spend time with you and each other.

Some living funerals might have a party-like atmosphere. Others can be more sombre. Living funerals are becoming more popular. Having one might mean you choose to have a smaller ceremony, or no ceremony at all, after your death.

Visit the Your Funeral Choice for information about living funerals and how to plan one.  

Who can help?

Down to Earth   – has practical support for people struggling with funeral costs.

Good Funeral Guide   – includes guides about different funeral options and advice on planning a funeral.

Your Funeral Choice   – is a directory of funeral directors, with advice on planning a funeral.

National Association of Funeral Directors   – is a directory of funeral directors, which you can filter by location.

MoneyHelper   – has information about funeral costs.

GOV.UK   – has UK government information about the Funeral Expenses Payment.

NI Direct   – has information about arranging a funeral in Northern Ireland.

Scottish Government  – has information about planning your own funeral in Scotland.

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