Caring for someone dying at home
It can be comforting for people to be at home as they near the end of life. Caring for someone dying at home can be challenging yet rewarding, and everyone has different experiences. If you're considering caring for someone at home or already doing so, it can help to know that you can get support.
Care at home checklist
When you care for someone at the end of their life:
- ask their GP what you can expect as their illness progresses
- keep contact details of their healthcare team in your phone or somewhere easy to find
- know who to contact out of hours for evenings and weekends
- find out if they've considered where and how they'd like to be cared for in future
- make a back-up plan to make sure someone else can care for them if you're no longer able to
- check what financial support is available to you.
Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309 to speak with our nurses, trained officers and volunteers if you have questions.
Practical support with day to day caring
Depending on the person's condition, you may need to help them with practical and emotional tasks, including:
- washing, dressing, eating and going to the toilet
- taking medication and managing their symptoms
- coordinating healthcare professionals coming into the home
- planning visits with family and friends
- talking to them about worries and fears
- taking care of their finances, life admin or pets.
It can help to talk to the GP, district nurse or occupational therapist. They’ll talk you through how to help them safely. They may suggest aids or equipment.
Carer's assessment
You can get a carer's assessment from your local social care services too. This isn't to assess how good you are at caring, but to ask you about your needs and how being a carer impacts your life. The person you care for can also ask for an assessment.
You may find that you're entitled to equipment or a home adaptation to help you provide care. Social services can provide equipment and training with moving and handling.
-
The GP should be your main point of contact, and can:
- prescribe medication
- coordinate support from other healthcare professionals
- give you information about the support available.
-
The district nurse can organise care services from community nurses, healthcare assistants, care workers, Marie Curie Nurses, clinical nurse specialists like Macmillan nurses, or other care agencies.
They can also:
- do practical things like giving injections and changing dressings
- advise on eating, drinking, moving and handling
- provide bowel and bladder care
- help with emotional support.
-
You might have a social worker if you or the person you care for has had a needs assessment through social services. They can help organise non-medical support like:
- having meals delivered
- getting your home adapted
- organising respite care.
-
The district nurse may organise for care workers to help the person with personal care, especially if they have complex needs. This could include helping with eating and drinking, washing and dressing, and going to the toilet.
-
Palliative care aims to help people have a good quality of life when they have a terminal illness. Someone can have palliative care at any stage of their illness. It does not necessarily mean they will die soon. Read more about palliative care.
A palliative care team can involve doctors, nurses, occupational therapists and physiotherapists. They can help manage someone's pain and other distressing symptoms, and offer emotional, spiritual and psychological support.
-
The GP will be able to talk you through what to expect as the person's illness progresses. Let them know as soon as you notice any changes in their symptoms or pain. They will:
- tell you what to do if their symptoms change or get worse
- tell you who to contact out of hours and on weekends
- provide a 'just in case' box of medicine with instructions in case their pain gets worse or there's an emergency
- discuss any decisions the person has made about the care and treatment they want.
Getting extra help from a hospice
We have nine hospices around the UK that may be able to provide day services and in-patient care, should you or a loved one need it. Please see our hospice page for more details.
-
Carer's Allowance is for people who spend at least 35 hours a week caring for someone who needs 'substantial and regular' care. You do not need to live with the person you care for, but it does depend on your income and the benefits they receive.
See if you're eligible and how to apply for Carer's Allowance.
-
You might be able to get help with energy bills while you care for someone at home, including:
- Winter Fuel Payments
- Cold Weather Payments
- Warm Home Discount
- Lowering your energy bills
-
If you’re caring for your spouse or civil partner, you may be able to get financial help when they die.
Emotional support while you care for someone at home
Caring for someone at the end of their life can be rewarding and bring you closer together. But it's also physically and emotionally demanding, and may affect your relationship.
There's no right or wrong way to feel, but it can help to talk and look after your own wellbeing.
-
Friends and family often want to help but may not know how. Try giving them some practical things they can help you with, like:
- picking up shopping
- preparing some meals
- helping with childcare or looking after pets
- having a chat on the phone.
Get more ideas for how your friends and family can support you.
-
If you have any questions or just need someone to listen, our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to support you.
Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309.
-
Feeling anxious or depressed can have a big impact on your life. Sometimes it can help to talk to someone who is trained in this area. Counselling is a talking therapy that is sometimes free at hospices, hospitals or GP surgeries. Ask your GP if you feel it's something that may help you. They'll help you decide the best treatment and know what's available locally.
You can also pay for private counselling. Find a qualified counsellor near you through your doctor or the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website.
-
Facing the death of someone close to you can bring up all sorts of worries, questions and feelings. Whether you have a belief or not, there are organisations that can support you. It can help to talk to a faith or spiritual leader, or a philosophical organisation.
-
A range of organisations can provide support. For example, there may be a charity that can help if the person has a certain condition.
See a list of organisations that support people and their families at the end of life.
Need to talk?
Life is more challenging right now, but we're still here for you.
No matter your worries, our nurses, trained officers and volunteers are here to listen.
- Call our free Support Line on 0800 090 2309
- Chat to us on webchat
- Send us an email at support@mariecurie.org.uk
- Speak with other people in similar situations on our online community
Our Support Line is open 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am – 5pm on Saturday.
As a family we want Mum to be cared for at home as it’s what she wants too, but there have been tough times in recent months when we were questioning whether we were doing the right thing. We were really struggling on our own but now we have the help we know we are doing the right thing.
Carers UK – find support in England, Scotland and Wales
Care Information Scotland – can I get help with caring?
Crossroads Care NI - information on caring in Northern Ireland
NI Direct – caring for someone who is terminally ill
NHS Inform - health information for people in Scotland
Shared Care Scotland – respite breaks for Scottish carers
Sue Ryder - palliative, neurological and bereavement support
Did you find this page useful?
Help us be there for anyone with an illness they're likely to die from by telling us what you think.
If you are completing this survey using a desktop computer, hold down the Ctrl button to select multiple options.
About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
