Supporting a child who's grieving
Supporting a child
Here are some things you could do to help a child when they’re grieving:
- Try talking openly. Some adults feel uncomfortable talking about the person who died, or death in general. This might make children feel like they can’t talk about it either, and they might worry about showing their emotions. If you feel able to, talk to the child about the person who died, and encourage them to share their feelings if they want to. Try not to pressurise them to talk if they don’t feel able to – children will grieve at different speeds. We have more information on talking to children about death.
- Some children feel lonely when an adult close to them dies. Going to a support group with other children can help them to share their feelings with others who have had similar experiences. Child Bereavement UK has information about support groups for young people.
- Children may find it easier to express their feelings through music, play or art. You could try doing some creative activities with them.
Supporting a child with learning disabilities
Children and young people with learning disabilities may find it harder to understand abstract ideas like death. When you are talking to them about the person who died, it can be helpful to repeat information and check they’ve understood what you’ve said.
We have more information on supporting children with learning disabilities when someone dies on our page, How grief may affect children.
Supporting a teenager
Here are some things you could try to help teenagers who are grieving:
- Some teenagers may find it hard to talk to adults about the person who died, but it can be helpful for them to share their feelings. You could try finding other ways for them to express their emotions. For example, some organisations have online forums or support groups where teenagers can speak to others who have shared similar experiences. There is a list of these organisations below.
- School can be an important source of support for teenagers and can help to give them a break from the situation at home. It may be helpful for them to have a specific person who they can speak to at school. There is more information on getting support at school on our page about returning to school.
- Some teenagers find that doing activities, like sport or music, may help them cope with grief. Having this social support can help to build their self-esteem if they’re feeling low.
- Having positive memories of the person who died can help comfort teenagers. Sharing stories about the person, or looking at a memory box, can help them feel close and connected to the person. We have more information on sharing memories about the person who died.
Looking after yourself
If you’re supporting a child or young person when someone dies, you might feel like their needs take priority over yours. But it’s important to look after yourself, and to take time to address your grief, as well as theirs. Read our information on looking after yourself when you’re grieving.
Remember that you don’t have to go through bereavement alone. There are lots of ways to get support, whether you prefer to talk to someone in person or join an online community. If you would like to speak to someone about your feelings, you can contact the Marie Curie Support Line on 0800 090 2309.
You can also read our booklet, When someone dies. You can order a hard copy or download it.
External websites
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About this information
This information is not intended to replace any advice from health or social care professionals. We suggest that you consult with a qualified professional about your individual circumstances. Read more about how our information is created and how it's used.
